Funny Southampton letters from an International Break weekend

Southampton (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)
Southampton (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images) /

As we enjoy the international break, here’s a look at some funny letters by diehard Southampton fans who don’t know what to do without any matches to enjoy.

International Break Weekend Day #1: Friday November 17th, 15:00 

The workday drags on. I check Twitter, what am I supposed to do without a Russell Martin presser? As the clock ticks ever so slowly towards 5pm, my mind is racing. The last bit of productivity before the week’s close? Important meetings coming up next week? My plans for the evening? All pale in comparison to the most important of topics: is Captain Jack Stephens available? Will he reclaim his place? THB and Bednarek have been so good — how could you break them up? I wonder all of this as the time I’ve spent scrolling my phone at my desk gets up to 7 minutes. This is what life is all about.

International Break Weekend Day #1: Friday November 17th, 18:00 

“Well, you see, it’s not a true inverted fullback system because Walker-Peters stays so wide so that whoever is playing off the right, usually Adam Armstrong, can cut inside and make forward runs behind the center backs. With Alcaraz dropping so deep it puts a lot of pressure on the backline. I would even say KWP is more of a wingback, however on the other side James Bree really operates as a wide center back at times. It’s really frustrating that people assume Russell Martin plays this insanely high line and never adjusts because really there is a lot of cover now for transition play”.

“I asked where you want to go for dinner tonight”, says the wife.

International Break Weekend Day #1: Friday November 17th, 23:00 

The wife is asleep. I boot up Football Manager. It’s 2028 and Southampton are looking to complete the quadruple. Life is good.

International Break Weekend Day #2: Saturday November 18th, 12:00

I aimlessly wander around the house. The wife has gone to the store to get groceries. Not even aware it was possible I could join her, I stayed at home. The midday sun looks somehow dull, like a bright mirror obscured by a thin layer of fog. Some kids on the street outside are having a kickabout and I stop by the window to watch. Track back! Track back! Keep your shape, more incisive, I find myself yelling. They move to a different street. Kids these days — don’t appreciate the finer points of the game.

International Break Weekend Day #2: Saturday November 18th, 15:00

Over the course of the day, I have cleaned the kitchen, entranceway, bathroom, done 4 loads of laundry, tidied the sitting room, vacuumed, taken out the trash, installed a new shower head, put new sealant on the shower, built an entirely new garage out the back, and completely finished our entire basement with new flooring, drywall, and installed an in-home full-service bar. If I could, I would trade it all just to see Carlos Alcaraz’s boyish good looks one more time.

International Break Weekend Day #2: Saturday November 18th, 22:00

I have retired to my bed. My wife has gone to dinner with our friends. I of course declined to attend, I had to watch Scotland’s Euro Qualifier in case Che Adams or Stuart Armstrong got injured on international duty again. Chele has withdrawn from the national team, but luckily she doesn’t know that, so totally bought the excuse. Not even Southampton vs. Barcelona in the 2028 Football Manager Champions League final can shake me out of my doldrums. A comfortable 3-0 win for the Saints of course, the now 26-year-old Gavin Bazunu hasn’t allowed a goal in 10 matches, and Flynn Downes completely bossed Pedri and Gavi in the midfield. Of course, the 34-year-old JWP came off the bench to score a lovely free kick. As it should be.

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International Break Weekend Day #3: Sunday November 19th, 11:00

Only one thing can bring me out of my no-Saints funk. The incoming Total Saints Podcast. I anxiously await this like a double shot of red and white colored espresso directly into my veins. Streamed on Youtube, Twitch, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts, today I have chosen Twitch. Finally, something worth doing on my weekend. As I type my manifesto in the chat on how Paul Onuachu was a victim of Selles and has a future with Southampton in Russell Martin’s system, I feel a new wave of positivity coming over me. The sun outside looks a bit brighter, the sky a bit more blue, the birds singing in the trees just a bit louder. Only 6 more days until Huddersfield. Perhaps I will get through this next week without Saints after all.